State of Evolution....

Last few months have been full of preparation, applications, achievements and some failures. One of my friend was back after long from US. After chatting and trying to cover lots that had gone by in last year,over the lunch, suddenly the topic changed to self exploration. I was talking about essays and how they made me think and evaluate different options in life. Suddenly, he said, do you know yourself? Can you talk about you for an hour, you know i realized it a month back that i cant and that scares hell out of me, IVY league just took me farther off from me. It took me by surpsrise, "Myself? I think yes, but then what knowing yourself would mean?"
He explained that if i could explain what makes me happy, how a b school makes me happy, how does it impact my life, how would i want to die, with whom would i want to spend rest of my life with, what kind of people would i avoid, then i would have made a business plan for life.
Obviously, i was lost. ( Considering that telling him that ice creams make me happy, b school gives me learning, and i want to die like i sleep and never wake up, no disease and no pain will make no sense. He was looking for an answer which he knew i did not have, because he knows that i dont tend to think a lot.) My answer was wierd but i will place it nevertheless because i think i THOUGHT and it also describes my state of evolution as on 5th feb, 2008 :).

"I am a strong believer of "whatever happens,happens for the best" coz dad used this statement often and i have grown to learn that he was right. I have no clue what future holds for me, and i for best know that i am not a control freak, i will not try to control my life in anticipation either. I live life one at a time. Everything can make me happy and sad, not many people around me have the power to make me sad though. For me b school means extending my horizons, i sincerely pray to God that i come out with my feet on ground, but if flying is what its meant to be, i will enjoy the flight and know that someday i will have to rest on ground, for no one has remained in sky forever.
I have evolved to love people and life in every form. I dont think there is a segment i will not want to associate with, however people with narrow outlook scare me. The kind of people i like are the ones who are honest to themselves because only such people can be honest to others. I am allergic to people who play double roles in life, i do this because A likes it but i dont believe in it, i think you better do what you believe in or if you decide to do something, call it your action, coz it has evolved out of your mind, may be "A" influneced you, but then by the end of the day, you did it. A wrong supported is as good as wrong done for me. About rest of the life, i am sure that i am not filling it with a wrong one, its got to be either right or none. There are some things better left at instincts and serendipity, rationals dont work in relations is all i know. You dont have to be blind to start with, but you have to grow to trust blindly because identities have to merge to resolve conflicts that independence brings in.
Aim of life is to be happy, rest of the things will come and go. The idea is how strong i am to keep the happy emotion in toughest of times. I am not sure if life has a business plan and i dont know if i can ever make it, all i can do is be positive and open to all changes and challenges life throws on me. I love to live even when i am in deep shit. :) "

He said that right now with me throwing such a heavy question on you, you seem to be in deep shit, you seem to be loving it and i have recorded this. I can see that you are red and your brain is drained out trying to think so hard, so let me give you some rest and not put myself in the league of people you would not want to spend rest of your life with. Will you mark it on your blog as state of evolution please? Now, record what i say about me, lets update evolution every quarter ( now, thats an MBA speaking;)) and see the progress. :D