Confessions of a shopaholic.. :P

Yep, this is not essentially something which will help me get rid of my guilt, but nevertheless i need to give it a go somewhere. So, i am a proud owner of some of the nicest dresses in London. Why? I dont know, i liked them. How? i have no idea, i just thought they looked good and i should wear them sometime , someday; so why not buy them and squeeze into my almirah.. With whom?? I havent figured out yet, but may be dinner with special friends where i will have to force everyone to come well dressed, so that i could dress up.. But the fact of life is, i love them.. i have worn them 20 times since morning and am happy to wear and show them to anyone who asks me to do so.. :P
One of the dresses is black in color and other is red from neck to knee.. and then there is another black print frock which is out of the world simple and beautiful.. apart from this i also have a net top and a black JC frock which i thought i would return, only to be stopped by a friend, "No, this is too good, just keep it.." "Ok, if this is meant for me, it cant go anywhere.. :P".. havent checked my bank balance yet, but then i dont want to; those numbers dont mean a thing to me, these colors mean so much to me.. i dont even want to keep them in my almirah, i am going to have them all around me so that i could wake up from my sleep and see them.. :) I will also have to buy a red shoe else i can not wear the red dress.. some more tasks at hand before i reach there.. :)

Thank you God for giving me all these clothes today.. I know that not always can you buy what you like and you need to put a limit to everything.. I just wanted to do it today and i think i will stay low profile for next 6 months..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Dear Blog,

Guess what? This is the year when three of us best of friends are together in London.. So, we had this long discussion on how life has been, i had very little to contribute (i guess out of sight is out of mind stands so true for me); according to Nimbz, i have bad memory and i dont remember anything about life so i keep smiling and looking at all of them while they speak; as per him nothing about me has changed, which he finds disturbing :).. Nimbz has all the series of Tom and Jerry and Friends , hence i become useless once i enter his home, i dont look at anyone and talk to anyone.. he has a karaoke kit too and we sang some 20 songs, in the worst of our voices, loudest of all.. But then Nimbz is a star, he can not get as bad with his singing as we all can, he sang his fav song with guitar and i was reminded of the most amazing lyrics from UB4.. it was an amazing day with so much fun.. Thank You God for this life, you are my favourite!.. :) Also, i have an amazing secret santa gift.. It is an ipod Nano blue in color.. I think i know who my Santa is :).. I had decided to punish myself for leaving overcoats, sandals and ipod on airport by not buying me replacement for an year (2011 has 2 jackets, one ipod and 2 pairs of shoes to its credit lost on airport)..I think my Santa knew that running without an ipod is so much of a task, so i have a new one which i have setup for myself (No one says no when Santa gives you something :P).. yey! I love christmas, its not only boring parties, it is also gifts.. Ok, i am not only taking gifts, i am being a good girl, i am also giving everyone gifts.. :)

For memory, the good lyrics.. :)
Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you


Your Truly

Changing moods of life..

It was a normal weekend.. i was happy and tending to do lots of things, but not doing anything.. Got a call from one of my friends from college.. I had not met her in last one and a half years.. There are so many people i have just not found time to meet, but i have been in touch with her on call.. As i picked up the call, i heard a very heavy voice on the other end.. there was something wrong, she never cries.. As useless as i am in such situations, i could not ask her what was wrong, i could only use some lame words like things will be fine, whatever it is.. I have no clue why, but i cant ask anyone anything, i just dont find it important to make someone revisit something painful for my quest for information.. We stayed on call for half an hour, till she felt better.. i asked her if she would like to go home for some days, to which she agreed.. After sorting the tickets, i decided to visit her in person to hand over her tickets.. I had never seen her so sad in the time that i had known her; she is just not one of those people who get sad for no reason.. again, as useless as i am, i did not know what to ask.. i stared at doors, windows, looked at her, asked her if she would like to come out for coffee.. but her silence did not break.. She asked me if she could hug me to which i said yes.. again, i did not know what to ask, how to comfort her..
While i dont know what happened, i just know that it felt very heavy to see someone as happy as her sad.. everything within me sank, i felt so helpless with all my presence, i could not have changed anything for her.. I just know that such dormancy and sadness sets in when one loses hopes in life.. expectations, attachments and hopes can shatter people and that is why i hate them.. i just know that anything that kills spirit and smile is not worthy of tears; it needs to be thrown in dust bin without regrets and any further emotional investment.. I so hate broken spirits, i think its fine to loose, win, break bones, but worst is when something breaks your spirit to live and find meaning in life.. For now, i just pray to God that i see the same lovely smile and life back in her, it hurts to see broken spirit; it just makes me realize the vanity in human existence..

Neemrana fort to Reading..

I always believe that we come across people for a reason, there is some connect.. This was one of the evenings when i was coming back from Reading.. There was a very interesting counter right in the middle of station with some offers around paint ball.. I am usually in hurry and hence tend to completely ignore anything around me.. But for some strange reason, i just stood on the counter and started talking to the guy who explained me about the scheme and where all can i avail the offer etc.. Suddenly he said in hindi," achaa hai, lei lo".. I was all smiles and where did you learn such perfect hindi from?? "well i was in India for sometime.. i ahve been to Rajasthan.."" Where in India are you from?".. I was born in jaipur and then ofcourse many cities.. ""Well well, have you been to Neemrana fort?? Have you seen the zipping that they have?? I set it up, i trained Hari on it, he now runs it".. "ofcourse, i have been to neemrana and i know zipping and the guy who ran it then".. its scary but good fun, its quite popular.. :D
We guys had this long discussion on how much he liked India, how he missed Hari who seemed to have settled in his heart, on the simplicity and love that India showered on him and how it changed him completely as a person.. In a very emotional tone, he told me that i was very lucky to be born in such a country, where people are simple, loving and nice; that he probably discovered family , love and affection in the innocence with which people welcomed him and made him feel at home in India.. I nodded my head in affirmation, i know that i am lucky to be born in India and i am very proud of the fact that i am an Indian.. there are many things which need to change and get better; it has its imperfections, but it has basics in place..
I had to move now, and his last words left me very touched.. Hari told me that i will see India everywhere , no matter where i go, i will feel the connect; i guess that is why Neemrana Fort to Reading i never thought i will find someone who has seen both places and can connect the dots for me.. Indeed, i never thought i will also meet someone who setup zipping in Nimrana in Reading.. :)

A winter evening..

It was a colder than usual day.. I was too cold sitting in office, all that i wanted was to get inside my cosy blanket and sleep.. I wrapped up my work and walked towards home.. An old Indian couple travelled with me all the way from canary wharf to central london.. there is some sense of familiarity, may be in the skin tone, or oneness that we have due to similar roots.. they asked me if i could ensure that they get down at the right station.. they looked lost and nervous.. i started to talk.. So, uncle, is this your first trip to London? yes beta.. and then i could see the pride on their face.. "our son works here, he is big now, he has been calling us since many years, but i was too busy, this time he did not agree so we decided to come down.. he is very busy, so he cant take us around, but he has told us everything, its just that it gets dark too early so i thought if you could guide us.." "its fine uncle, i can find my way in London, so this is doable.."
And then uncle asked me about what do i do.. i had an interesting story to tell around work that i do( wonder where do i get it from?).. then came a rather sweet question.. "dont you feel scared staying so far away from home?" i thought for a while.. " No uncle, there is nothing to be scared of.. i dont remember any fears of survival being on my mind.. there is wierd sense of satisfaction in struggling and learning that, come what may, you will survive and God willing thrive.. :)" uncle had some more questions on London and western lifestyle and then unlike me, i managed to find way for them in one go.. uncle insisted that i have a cup of coffee with them.. as i gathered my stuff to walk out, uncle and aunty put their hands on my head very lovingly and said that your parents must be very proud of you..
i was taken aback by the moment.. there was something very unique about my dad, he was always very proud of us; he dint need reason for it.. whether we stood bottom in class ( i did , my KG report cards are scary:)), stood last in painting, did nothing.. he was always proud.. there was this unconditional love, faith and trust; no matter who you are, what you do, where you go, i will always have confidence that you will survive it.. sometimes well, sometimes may be not that well, but you will live it and most importantly not regret it.. i dont think end result really mattered to him, it was always about the journey and the spirit with which one went past it.. he would have never asked me "are you scared of anything?" he never did.. he would rather say, go and explore if you fall, call me :), but dont hold yourself.. Its one life, live in the moment; as long you dont hurt others, you have every right to live..

With lots of thoughts on my mind, i bid good bye and travelled back to a good night sleep.. From finding way to showing way, it must have been quite an experience, though beauty about life is, when you are in it, you dont know it.. :)