It was a normal weekend.. i was happy and tending to do lots of things, but not doing anything.. Got a call from one of my friends from college.. I had not met her in last one and a half years.. There are so many people i have just not found time to meet, but i have been in touch with her on call.. As i picked up the call, i heard a very heavy voice on the other end.. there was something wrong, she never cries.. As useless as i am in such situations, i could not ask her what was wrong, i could only use some lame words like things will be fine, whatever it is.. I have no clue why, but i cant ask anyone anything, i just dont find it important to make someone revisit something painful for my quest for information.. We stayed on call for half an hour, till she felt better.. i asked her if she would like to go home for some days, to which she agreed.. After sorting the tickets, i decided to visit her in person to hand over her tickets.. I had never seen her so sad in the time that i had known her; she is just not one of those people who get sad for no reason.. again, as useless as i am, i did not know what to ask.. i stared at doors, windows, looked at her, asked her if she would like to come out for coffee.. but her silence did not break.. She asked me if she could hug me to which i said yes.. again, i did not know what to ask, how to comfort her..
While i dont know what happened, i just know that it felt very heavy to see someone as happy as her sad.. everything within me sank, i felt so helpless with all my presence, i could not have changed anything for her.. I just know that such dormancy and sadness sets in when one loses hopes in life.. expectations, attachments and hopes can shatter people and that is why i hate them.. i just know that anything that kills spirit and smile is not worthy of tears; it needs to be thrown in dust bin without regrets and any further emotional investment.. I so hate broken spirits, i think its fine to loose, win, break bones, but worst is when something breaks your spirit to live and find meaning in life.. For now, i just pray to God that i see the same lovely smile and life back in her, it hurts to see broken spirit; it just makes me realize the vanity in human existence..
3 comments:
It can be difficult to ask things like that b/c it can make you remember your own horrible moments in life.no worries,at least you did your best,right? :D
:D.. such horrid "memories" which make you cry? who retains and preserves them?
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